Jersey girl up in here

Me Natalie Meagan Alysha Angie Danielle

Me and Nat

Nightly Skype Section with Kami

    Tomorrow marks 2 weeks that i have been out in my new life. I feel like i have Been Here FOREVER, but yet i cant believe its already been 2 weeks! I feel like i am ALWAYS busy! If I'm not working, than i am at a YSA activity, Institute, FHE, Skyping with Maddy Cody kami my mom, or sleeping. I feel like I'm so busy that i don't let myself get home sick. Although nights are the hardest. Realising i am all alone makes me miss My family and my friends so so much...but like i said i cant think about that! Summit New Jersey is seriously SO beautiful, and i absolutely love the family i am Nanny-ing / living with. John and Brenda are so sweet and so willing to help and do anything for me. They have 5 crazy loud and loving kids, Sean -11, Marry Kelly -10, Will -8, Margaret -4, and Brian -2. I already am feeling so welcome and at home! There is a tight knit group of girls that are all nannies Here in new Jersey, and we all go to the same ward. The second day i was here i went to church and they were all so welcoming. I really did have friends instantly. 3 days after i got here it was 9-11. Me and the girls went to Liberty Park, in Jersey City and got to look out across the water and see the hole city from a distance. It was honestly the most beautiful thing i think i have ever seen. They had two Lights shinning up from the exact spots where the twin towers had stood. The memorial that has been built for all the New Jersey people that had been killed was so amazing to see. Last weekend there was a YSA conference that was in New York City. I got to see a little bit of Central park, The Trump Tower, And then we went to Time Square. AMAZING. that's seriously all i can say about the city. I LOVE my ward! Its crazy that there are so many different types of people, and yet we are all there cause we love the Gospel. Everyone has been SO warm and loving. The conference was so wonderful, and I met so many great people. Tomorrow i Venture into NEW YORK again, with Danielle and Angie.. They have already become two of my great friends, and honestly i would be SO lost with out them.. Literally. I would be lost. Danielle picks me up and takes me to like everything cause i still don't know where i am half the time. ha ha Anyways, I am alive! Sorry if i have been distant to some, i am very busy! But i love you!! I miss my family and friends more than i can even express, but I'm having such an amazing adventure!!!

ONE DAY.

The new life

I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL!! 

I seriously thought this day would NEVER come. 

I thought i would be really sad, and i wasn't, I'm not. Its wonderful! 

I know i will see those that i want, and i never have to see those that i don't! 

Its absolutely lovely. 

I am Nanny-ing for a GREAT family that i met through my sister, Kami. 

They have 3 children. Kayden, Kendall, and Maddox. 

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

Oh, and i don't believe i have mentioned that i am totally obsessed with 1D

OBSESSED people. 

I have known that graduation was coming, but I don’t think I realized how quickly it has come. I have 16 days left of high school... I was always so certain that i was ready, but now that it’s here, I’m not so sure. Making choices for my life this next year out of high school has been so difficult. The thing that i wanted to do wouldn’t match up with what everyone has been saying is best for me to do. I have been so torn between choosing to stay in Mesa and continue my education right out of high school, and continue Nanning for Amber and her family, (Whom I absolutely love) Or Nanning through an LDS agencies, which would take me somewhere in the US for a whole year. There have been SO many good and bad things about both paths. At my Relief Society fireside a few weeks ago, Sister Wright told us that we needed to just "make a decision, and if you don’t get a bad feeling about that decision after praying and pondering on it, than do it." So that’s what I did. I am absolutely terrified and i get a little nauseous thinking about moving away, but I cannot wait. Thinking about the new experience that I will get to have makes me so happy. And that’s all i want. I want to be happy. I just hope everyone else can get behind me on my decision. I’t might make it a little easier.

A little bit better.

Hey, so remember that one time when all i blogged about was how i hated the world? ... Well don't get me wrong. i still do... but in a different way.. well different reasons. Hahah Life kind of sucks when you're sad all the time, no matter what its about. You feel grumpy all the time, and honestly sometimes you become, just not a nice person... Sometimes you cant help it. Sometimes i cant. it just happens. I had spring break, this past week, and it gave me a lot of time to just think. think about feeling, and friends, and my family. How i haven't been the most pleasant person to be around, and not all the time fun. at first thinking about these things, made me even MORE sad, until i realised something. I choose what i feel. Me. No one else. I choose how i react to things, and how emotionally involved or uninvolved i become. I know that i sometimes i will over react cause well, i do. I know i still will have bad days. but its all up to me. And i love that. I love knowing that in this Giant world of crazy people, and Crazy decisions, i still can control me. so, from now on I'm done being sad. I'm through with missing, and waiting. i am choosing to move on, and finally be happy again. I may not have a ton of friends, and not be the most beautiful, outgoing person in the world, but I'm me. and for right now I'm okay with that, cause for the first time in a long time I'm finally starting to feel free. <3

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